To go back in time and sit in on a lecture given by Socrates, with a tape recorder hidden in my pocket…and not with the intent to come back and make a profit…just to have…wow!

To live to be 100 years old and then, 6 more months. This way, for 6 months I can say, “I’m a century old”. After that, I’ll be ready to go with a big smile on my face…

To see every one of my girls grow up and make at least one of their dreams come true, despite my mistakes.

To be there when one of my girls gives birth.

To finally be financially secure enough that I never have to go to my parents for help, ever…let them enjoy their money, they’ve earned it.

To own a sweet ass Harley and take a road trip cross country.

To hold my dearest friends close always, even when we live far apart.

To be a recognized and respected writer.

To understand Quantum Physics.

To grow grass in the patch of dirt out back!

To fall in love with a good man, an understanding and spiritual man. He must be strong enough to put me in my place if need be…but smart enough to choose his words carefully. I want a man secure enough and comfortable enough to be in the same room with me and not need to fill the silence with talk. I want him to be funny, or at least to be able to recognize funny and laugh dammit, laugh out loud!

To look at my mistakes as lessons and learn from them!

To live up to my own standards.

To look at my enemies as brothers and sisters.

To finally understand and be altruistic.

To meet the Dahli Lama who exemplifies altruistic.

To be alive when the Tibetans are finally able to go home.

To be old and gray, sitting in my chair reflecting on my life with no regrets and some pretty damn good stories to tell.

To be of the presence of mind that when my grandchildren sneak cookies from their mommas’ cupboards, I don’t reprimand them…I join them!

To know serenity.

Each night, just before going to sleep, he would go to her and hold her.  Nothing more, no kiss, no soft words of love, just a loving embrace.  Just an embrace, yet, it was everything for her.  In his arms she smelled his wonderful smell, she felt his gentle strength envelope her and she closed her eyes.  Holding her, he felt his worries disappear and his heart fill with love, he felt all at once young again.  Whatever spurred the beginning of this tradition, neither could remember, but, that wasn’t important.  The physical embrace symbolized a much deeper happening…a connectedness of spirits, soulmates if you will.  Whatever may have happened that day, whatever cross word they may have spoken or line they may have crossed with one another, this hold allowed them to let go.  And, in letting go, they remained closer…always…a bond that exemplified true love.

i feel a level of intensity..

i say stand up against the insanity,

stop complaining…take responsibility…

the state of the world is up to you and me…

ultimately, fundamentally.

we have strength enough to move mountains you and i…

i won’t lay down, let apathy rule and i wait to die…

i want to do all i can, or at least i must try…

tears may fall, yet i’ll continue searching as i cry…

why not try?

i seek to be all that I can be…

i seek for others who see as i see…

and, i yearn to learn from those who see differently…

to my children this i will impart, this is my destiny…

my legacy.

i’ll get over it….folks, i appreciate your tolerance as i vent and heal….it’s just that there are people i care about still over there, still in the trenches of that godforsaken place…until they get out, i continue to feel appalled and angry over the incredibly bad way On High has treated it’s people.  there will come a time, i promise, when i’ll write about other topics….

i read over my stuff…all of it and one of the thoughts i have is, wow…i’m not at a loss for opinions…feel free to express yours…i respect them….

I have a question…if you are a company wanting to go public, is it important that you be in compliance with federal government standards on all of your documents?  Hmmm….where’s my Cobra letter?

When losing your employees faster than you can hire them is becoming an issue…does it help the morale of those remaining by demoting their titles?

When choosing a title for a particular job, is it important that you take the advice of those who KNOW and choose a title that actually fits the job description?  Or are you so incapable of controlling your ego that you fire the person advising you and name the job whatever the hell you want because for all your education you are still an insecure little person laden with so much Napolean complex attributes it’s a wonder you can raise your head off the pillow each morning?

When sending out company wide memos that are meant to appease unhappy employees by using politically correct statements that actually cover up what is really happening….is it important to use spell check?  It’s that cool little tool Word offers you before you send something out that can potentially make you look like an illiterate.

When put in a position of authority, is it really necessary to behave in a berating manner with your employees?  What does this say about you?  What business curriculum taught you that being a bully and degrading your people is the best way to draw out of them respect and the desire to do good work?  Was it called, “Little Man’s Syndrome 101″?

Anything you’d like to add?  Feel free….send me a comment and get your thoughts out there.   

What’s it going to take!  You aren’t just losing people who can easily be replaced, you are losing people who you depend on.  Are you not listening?  Do you even care?  It’s strange that I should care so much, but dang…all I ever knew about this company before I came in was how wonderful it was, how well taken care of the employees were.  I wanted to be a part of that.  You bring in a bully, you hide behind her Napoleanistic attitude and you let her tear a good thing down.  I wrote you a letter, I expressed my feelings in the hopes that you would see from a different perspective what is going on in the trenches.  You didn’t respond….not that I mind or expected you to.  However, I then was made privy to a memo you wrote to your entire company.  What the hell were you trying to do with this ridiculous attempt to calm your dwindling “team”?  Who are you trying to fool?  What an insult!  Do you really think you have idiots working for you?  When I saw this memo, I came to the realization that as much as I wanted to blame the demise of your company on an overzealous bully of a woman, you are very much responsible.  A dear friend (also a former employee) made this point to me.  You are not stupid.  You know what is going on.  You should be ashamed.  Dammit!  I was once so proud to say I worked for you.       

 “Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust”

from:  Another One Bites The Dust lyrics by Queen

rats fleeing a sinking ship.

more resignations expected.

uhh yeah.

Peter Gibbons: Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

My thoughts:  Amen, can I get a witness!!!

Peter Gibbons: You’re gonna lay off Samir and Michael?
Bob Slydell: Oh yeah, we’re bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to
Singapore, that’s the usual deal.
Bob Porter: Standard operating procedure.
Peter Gibbons: Do they know this yet?
Bob Slydell: No. No, of course not. We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

My thoughts:  Studies have statistically shown that if you give notice on a Monday to a supervisor who has already chased away more than his/her fair share of employees, you’ll find yourself feeling lighter and more at peace with yourself…and when you go to sleep the night of the last day, you sleep like a baby…

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn’t exactly say I’ve been *missing* it, Bob.

My thoughts:   Awwwww, SNAP!!!

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that’s messed up.

My thoughts:   Be honest, do you feel this way?  If so, don’t you think maybe you should do something about this?  Is this really how you are meant to live?  Really?  What the hell have we let ourselves buy into? 

Dom Portwood: Hello, Peter. What’s happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Dom Portwood: Yeah. Uh, did you get that memo?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. The problem is, I just forgot this one time. And I’ve already taken care of it so it’s not even a problem anymore.
Dom Portwood: Yeah. It’s just that we’re putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports *before* they go out now. So if you could just remember to do that from now on, that’d be great. All right!

My thoughts:  micromanagement hell, and still not doing shit right…steppin all over the morale of the very life blood of your company…wow…what if you took a minute to listen?  what would you lose?  what possibly could you gain?  you’re probably never going to know….

So this cool young cat does me the honor of posting a response to me on his blog.  I’m thinking, what a great way to connect and what respect I have for this kid!  Seriously…was I this profound in high school?  Or was I just profoundly lost?  I think it was a bit of both.  And, reading his words I think…this is exactly what I make mention of from time to time…communication, sharing of thoughts and ideas and being open and unafraid to entertain a thought that may differ from my own.  What this world needs is more of that…we are, as I’ve said before, all puzzle pieces and we fit together, in fact, I think this is an inherent need we carry…the desire to connect with each other.

In answer to the concept of taking a book written over 2000 years ago and abiding by it’s rules…I’ve stopped trying so hard to comply with this book.  I continue to respect it but I don’t hold it as absolute…I think it has it’s place along with all the many other holy books inspired by that Someone who, more than in a book I believe communicates with us directly…we’re just too busy trying to prove each other wrong, we don’t hear.  I have a problem with anyone who says to me that if I don’t follow this book, I am damned.  What?  How do you know?  Do you have a direct line to God?  I can’t believe in a God that would rather I blindly follow instead of seek and own my own truths…I just don’t think that’s the message God is trying to impart…

As for Moonshado…wow!  And thanks!

And to conclude… Namaste:  The Divine in me blesses and honors the Divine in you…Namaste my friends and to those who would be against me…Namaste to you too.