She stood in the doorway of her parents’ home. A grown woman, she looked out at the world as though for the first time. She leaned against the door frame and let her mind wander back to when she was younger, her mind open and her heart naive. She remembered college where they’d first met. He swept her off her feet and it was not long after that they married. She was happy but, her joy was short lived. The abuse began verbally. He would softly insult her intelligence, in subtle ways; he would berate her choices, her abilities, and her worth. She tolerated his words, convincing herself that if she just hung on, she would be able to change him. As the years progressed, so did his disrespect and disdain. He began drinking and the abuse turned physical. She became very good at hiding the bruises and she became very adept at lying. The day finally came when she could no longer continue lying, not even to herself. He beat her severely on this day. While he lay in a drunken stupor, she walked out the front door. Her mind had snapped, she didn’t bother to hide the marks of his hands on her face. Bleeding, with tears flowing, she walked until she reached her brother’s home, a few miles away. He wasn’t there, so she sat on the porch swing and rocked. She rocked and went inside of herself. This was where her brother found her, lost in her own world. He took her to the hospital where it was later discovered she was pregnant. Her mother whispered the news to her silent daughter. That night, she came out of her world. Something stirred in her soul and this brand new mother formed a resolve. No more…simple words that became her mantra, “no more”. She followed all the recommended procedures to keep him away. She asked for a restraining order, she moved in with her parents, she went to counseling and filed for divorce. The thought of this new life growing inside her gave her the strength to learn again who she was. The work to rebuild herself was hard and painful. But, she kept at it and what she found was love like she’d never known before, true and unconditional. She fell in love with herself and like a match had been thrown into her soul, she burned with this emotion. She thrived with the knowledge that she was enough, she was complete and she was perfect. She grew in size and then, one day it was time. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. As she lay holding her child, she glowed and thanked the Spirit for this joy she felt in her heart. She looked at her baby and accepted the responsibility handed to her to be mother, teacher, guide and friend. Two years later, as she stood in the doorway of her parents’ home, she marveled at the levels she’d traversed on her journey to this moment. She was enough and no man could ever take that away from her. The layers she’d peeled away had been painful to look at but, look at them she did. She sat with the woman she once was and gave her compassion so that the woman she once was could leave and never return. The woman she had become was wise, loving, strong and kind. She knew she had more to do, more to learn. Her journey had brought her far, but she had farther yet to go. Still and all, with this truth in mind, she held tight to another truth, another simple yet profound knowledge…she was enough and going backwards was simply not an option. She was enough….
