moe-tif

sing out…sing the song that is you and sing loud…fleeting is the desire to be, yet be you must…be real, be you…i am aching inside…i watch the world around me, i watch my brothers and sisters lay to waste their sacredness, i mourn the unnecessary angst…hatred borne from fear…fear of what?  how can we be so afraid of each other?  we walk this world as though our stories are real…we carry our scripts to hide our faces so that we can fade away into nothingness…never living, never honoring ourselves, much less each other…yet, and i strive to be as they, there are those individuals who raise their eyes and look deep into the facade…they strip away the mask and lovingly reach out to any and all…there is no one beneath them…they, these wise souls, have seen the light and live out their lives extending the mirror to the world around them…the light they have seen, it is not in some long lost story…it is not in some unreachable corner of the world hidden as though a treasure to be sought far and wide for…no…this light though hidden it would seem is just within reach…it is within…look into this light, i ask thee, my fellow lost soul, look into this light and rest your Spirit…let your light shine…shine bright, let your voice be heard and sing loud, reach out and take hold of each other…only then will freedom’s lost place in this world be found…

i want to tear away this facade that has boxed me in for as long…
…as long as i can remember…
i look out at the horizon and i feel a change coming, i long for the tribulations because…
…because i know that with them comes the rebirth of what is true…
we live out these lives deadened to what is real…i want to raise my hands…
…raise my soul to the heavens and fly free of this angry bitterness that has been a prison…
the journey to wakefulness begins with the choice to be eccentric…
…eccentric and perhaps unaccepted, feared, even loathed for my bravery…
the fears of too many have been forced upon me, to include my own fears…
…my own fears have proved to be as chains, holding me back from authentic experience…
i choose to break free these chains…i choose to die to this old way of living so that…
…so that i may finally live, really, truly…LIVE…

my beautiful sister…you choose invisibility…hide behind your bruises and tears…
rather than take that first scary step, then another, then another…to freedom…to your real self…
to that sacred divine you that was there when you first breathed this earthly air…
take the chance…step into that unfamiliar place and lay claim to what is yours by birthright…
you stay…you let him continue to beat you down…then you choose death…

i say to you…make yourself known…stop being invisible…

“I can still hear the soft southern winds in the live oak trees.” Don Williams (Good Ole Boys Like Me)

the image invoked by this sweetly simple line…i can see myself leaning back against one of those live oak trees, my eyes surveying the landscape as my Spirit rests in calm serenity….quiet, peaceful…simple…

serenity…the peace that comes from knowing my children are well taken care of…that i am teaching them the tools necessary to be strong, happy adults…

everything else is gravy…

so many skies…each one so different…
from the wide expanse of a desert sky over Arizona…
or the unsure blue-gray over Colorado…
South Carolina with clouds full to overflowing, monsoon bringin with it the smell of rain…
or Spain’s beautiful blue that stirs in me memories not my own but, a part of me always…
Washington’s sky would drizzle one day and dazzle the next, the rain a constant…catalyst to so much green…
California’s summer night, a midnight blue…perfect for walking down low lit beaches…kisses by the sea…
each one so different…each having it’s place in my mind’s eye…

i am a successful writer making my living doing what i love…
my family and friends also benefit from my successes, in fact, our successes are intertwined because, we’ve helped each other along the way…
i accomplish what i set out to do because i’ve learned to trust the Universe to answer my prayers…
i face the world focused on the moment, trusting that i am doing the best i can and that everything else happens the way it is supposed to happen…

i want this…

i am a successful writer…

hey…knock knock…you…look at me…no,
LOOK at me…don’t you see me?  don’t you feel me?
man…at least don’t you feel that crazy tingly feeling one feels
when someone is longing for them?
wow…you don’t do you…
yo…knock knock…i am woman…

and you are a man whose heart is guarded…
blind and dense to what is right in front of you…

right in front of you…

my timing is…impeccable…

….in reading the last couple of posts i think…dang, i’ve been having a rough little bit…it’ll pass, it’ll pass…not one to stay down for long…don’t like the view from there…although, that last post is right on…it’s about time i realized my own worth and set the standard for m’self…you know…no more abusive assholes, no more insecure pricks….that kind of thing…i’m seeking that good man…that man who can stimulate my mind, keep up with my Spirit, who will support my dreams and will allow me to support his…and he’s got to be willing to cook with me…and laugh with me…and lie silent in the dark with me…kiss me when i talk too much, hold me when i need to be held…the kind of man who can appreciate the ART of making love…not simply the act of fucking…and who is willing to openly collaborate with me when i wanna explore…hmmmm….yeah…and he’s gonna have to work a bit to gain my attention…i’m picky…if he can’t appreciate a beautiful sky well….he must move on…appreciate the world in all it’s glory…appreciate your fellow human being even as he/she falls…expect…EXPECT…the failed person to rise up again and keep on keepin on…

you are out there…i know it…i’m doin my thing…when you’re ready and i’m ready…we’ll bump into each other…and you’ll think i’m the craziest chic you’ve ever met…but…you won’t be able to get me out of your head…

yup…you’re screwed all right…and you’ll love every minute of it…

i love you…