moe-tif

As a server, there are times when I am asked to sing our birthday song for a guest.  Last night, I had two birthdays in quick succession.  One was a 4 year old named Sean celebrating with his family and the other was a 77 year old man celebrating with his wife and friends.  This is how I came to know they were each celebrating birthdays on the same day.

Sean and his family were first to be sung to.  Soon thereafter, I delivered their check and then went to gather singers again to sing for my 77 year old.  Right after we sang, Sean’s family began to come out of their dining area and walked by the table with the older gentleman.  It was perfect timing.  I touched Sean on the shoulder and laid my hand on the man’s shoulder so that I had both of their attentions.  I crouched down and told Sean that the man in front of him was also celebrating a birthday.  And then I stepped back and watched.  With all the people milling around us, the moment between man and child was….all their own.  The man smiled the biggest smile and spoke to Sean who smiled back and started to talk about his presents.  There was something so sweet and good about this moment and I’m so glad I was present to witness it.  It wasn’t something grandiose or earth shattering, but it was real and pure, the good stuff.  And then, the moment passed and Sean had to go.  The 77 year old turned back to his table and I let myself, for a moment, reflect on what I’d just seen.  To me, this was magic and that is what I look for, every day.  It can come in any form, whether it be a tree blowing in a breeze just so or the smell of a perfume from back in my youth, bringing to the surface old memories…or just a passing moment between two Spirits taking the time to be present to one another.  Yeah…as I take a deep breath…my head might be in the clouds and I might be overly romantic and whimsical….but, I’m glad.  I’m me and I wouldn’t have me any other way.  Oh…and that 77 year old…well, before they packed up to go he took a moment and smiled that big beautiful smile at me, thanking me and for that moment I saw a kid, a happy kid celebrating his birthday.  See, I told you….magic! 

we are walking this world asleep…
we may have moments of wakefulness,
when the brilliant reality of who we are
and what we can accomplish confronts us
and challenges us to stay awake…
we struggle to hang on to those moments…
yet, the lure of going back to what is “comfortable”
beckons us, teases us…reaches out to us from a place
of fear and doubt…and we succumb…some of us…
we fall back into our old habits, our patterns ingrained
from years of believing our failures define us…
laziness and apathy take hold and become the chains
binding us in a dungeon of such darkness and despair…
we wallow, convince ourselves that this is reality
we settle for this living death and yet…continuously ask ourselves…
is this it?  is this all there is? 
“no” says the voice within…”no…you must wake up!”….
the voice is calm yet, there is an urgency…as each day spent asleep
is one less day spent alive…
the fear of not knowing what is next seems almost tangible
like a fist gripping your neck, rationing the air you breathe…
a chokehold that allows you just enough to exist but not to live
better to be afraid, to live life on the edge of losing it all…
to one day wake up and know…you have left the ledge but
instead of falling, you are flying…and you are living…

she closed her eyes as he began another angry tirade, raining his anger upon her…
like daggers at her spirit, his words cut, hurting her yet again…
she let herself wander to a place in her mind, a place of solace all her own…
under a tree she sat, breathing deeply…his shouting a dim disturbance far away…
leaning back, she looked out upon breathless beauty, grass blowing softly,
flowers lending their aroma to a breeze already pungent with the scent of rain…
she gazed into the distance and could see rolling clouds, filled with the promise of a great storm…
the air was cool on her skin, the moment so complete, so full in it’s realness…
it would seem as though the angry man trying to degrade her so was simply a figment of her imagination…
she smiled and closed her eyes, let the rain dance across her face as the leaves on the tree sheltered her…

So, for awhile, I have taken on a serving gig.  I work a few nights a week.  I’m using this job as a tool for learning more about people and, for learning how strong I am.  I find that, when I approach my guests completely focused on treating them not as a $ sign but rather, as human beings with the same hopes, dreams, struggles and confusions as myself, I enjoy my work a helluva lot more.  I treat them with compassion and respect and, the feelings are returned, for the most part.  There are those tables who will stubbornly keep me out of reach.  There are those people who will attempt to treat me disrespectfully.  When I personalize this treatment, I take on their negative vibe and carry that to the next table.  I really don’t like feeling that way, so, it truly is a conscious effort to keep that ugliness at bay.  The effort is worth taking on however, if I am going to be at all successful at rising above the rampant negativity that exists in our world.  And, I have to add, when I am authentically happy doing this work, at the end of the night, I make out like gangbusters.  I gotta believe that, on the most fundamental level, it truly is in my power to control the kind of night I will have, simply by shifting my attitude. The same holds true for the kind of life I will have.  

Watching other servers, it’s interesting to note their behaviors and attitudes.  Some will take a bad tip in stride, keep their head in the game without allowing themselves to become angry.  Others will take that bad tip and walk around the restaurant expressing their anger at the injustice they’ve experienced.  It’s as though they can’t carry the load alone and seek out those whose energy is strong enough to take from.  I find myself being compassionate with them but at the same time doing all I can to avoid them.  I simply can’t afford to let them mar my own work, whether on a monetary level or, and most importantly, on a spiritual level. 

For all the importance behind delivering great service and taking care of the guest’s needs, one should never forget that this is just food and we’re just playing a game.  I choose to have fun with what I’m doing and translate that to my guests.  Serving is not a demeaning part to play, as many might think.  It is a wonderful opportunity to take care of others and to test one’s own ability to remain at peace inside, regardless of the way things play out.  I believe this holds true of anything we do in life.