moe-tif

he yo-yos her feelings with no regard…
playin cruel games with her heart…
he’s off scorin another notch…
while her pain is tearing her apart…

she waits for him yet again…
he swaggers in bad as can be…
she knows what he’s been about…
disrespect a scent he wears proudly…

somewhere she misplaced her own worth…
foolish hope keepin her with this man…
she taught him how to treat her by tolerating…
he’s an ass just because he can…

she had made him her reason…
and forgotten her own rhyme…
she let him mistreat her…
and make her his victim, time after time…

responsibility a double edged sword…
the hand must close tight around the blade…
she must make a choice now…
even as she watches her light fade…

her life is better lived alone…
she must take courage and this truth embrace…
she must take back her power…
her mirror stands ready for her to face…

face herself, face her fears…
face that she allowed this to be…
peel away the layers of how and why…
only then will she truly be free…

 

strip away the facade…
baby, you don’t have to play games…
be real with me…
open your world to me…
this pain you carry ain’t my load to bear…
shouldn’t be yours either…
let go, let go and breathe…
i’ll take care of you.
it’s a trip how clouded our pain
can make skies we have yet to wake up to…
past hurts we drag into our future…
we mess up potential joy before
we have a chance to welcome
that smile,
that touch,
that soft kiss…
the games we play to avoid what once was…
we lose ourselves trying to make up rules as we go along…
God, let it go, be real with me…
be real with yourself…
then and only then,
can you be with me…

for all my years…i am 38 years old…i wonder why i’m not cynical or jaded…i’ve experienced plenty of disappointment, plenty of hardship and plenty of consequence from choices poorly made…yet, somehow…i’m still very idealistic and, my thoughts are like that of a young girl…i still believe people are fundamentally good…i believe in principal and, i believe in the magic and mystery of life…i don’t understand when people hurt one another…i am angered at injustice and truly bewildered at this world that finds so many ways to justify killing and destroying people’s dreams, lives…each other…tonite, despite a wonderful day with great friends…my heart is sad…i’ll breathe thru it…but, my soul is achin a bit…

g’nite…

Be the light you seek…
be the hero you would look up to…
be all that you would lay upon another’s shoulders…
you are your own life’s answers…

sat out on my porch tonite…fast becoming a favorite pasttime…had m’self a cigar and a glass of wine…nothing but the nite, a breeze to cut thru the humidity and a tree blowing soft beside my apartment…god…i love my solitude on nights such a this…a time for reflection…i contemplate my life…life in general…i ask m’self the same unending questions i’ve asked since i can remember…all the why, how, what if’s that my heart desires an answer for…there is a peace i feel on nites like this that reminds me to breathe deep and take a step back from life every once in awhile…there is more than this…more going on that needs/begs exploring…and i’m more than happy to comply..