moe-tif

this is a phrase i grew up listening…translated it means, “when the devil has nothing to do, he kills flys.” my mother said this alot, in a wise sagelike kind of way. as a child, i would nod my head in agreement, although i never really understood why she’d say it. for some reason, it felt like a good way to start this post which is about that place i left not too long ago. i’m almost completely detoxed but, i still get hooked when i hear about the stupid things they do and say. for a moment, i want to digress and share a bit of good news. remember my friend, the one that was being treated so badly by the department she was working in? well, she’s found herself a kick ass job and she is very happy. she isn’t around a bunch of insecure children disguised as adults and she’s been given a fair chance to learn the job and excel at it. wow, and somehow, at this new place….she’s not been labeled as dense or stupid. makes me wonder who the dense one really was? perhaps the people who labeled her should have pointed the finger at themselves…
and now those very same people want to keep another friend of mine from receiving her money because she didn’t fill out a form that all of a sudden they want done right? try to use the excuse that forms weren’t done right…but we know the real reason…you are such a power monger that any chance that comes along for you to hold something over on someone, you’ll take it. gaaaawwwwd how pathetic.  yuck…your department is angry and toxic and it’s due to you….you…you. your company lacks the concept of customer service and you treat your people like expendable items you can toss to the way side…
karma, karma, karma…

nuf said…

It is done, finished, the fat lady has sung her god awful song and by golly…it’s over.  They found a way to get rid of her and in doing so, escaped being held accountable for their behaviors…yet again (remember that line; I’ll be revisiting it at the end of this little tirade of mine).  They took a disliking to her pretty much from the get go and there was no talking them out of it.  Did they try to examine their feelings…their peculiar need to be callous, childish bitches…hell no!  That would require an inward look into the proverbial mirror.  Such a gaze would reveal much work that needed to be done on their own damn selves.  No, it’s so much easier just to direct their inferiority issues outward; hence, making another human being feel like dog shit while they prance around doing a self righteous dance to some fucked up beat that only an insecure, wannabe drummer on crack could sound out.  The fact that each of these people is quite capable of being BETTER than what they portrayed only adds to the disgust I feel.  Now, mind you…in the beginning, I wasn’t any different.  For awhile there, I too behaved like an ass.  I was sucked in and talked shit right there with the rest of them.  I TALKED SHIT….SHIT WAS TALKED!  Does anyone get what I am saying? From the low man on the totem pole right on up to the SUPERVISOR IN CHARGE who is supposedly supposed to hold this supposed position of supposed authority…yup, she talked shit too.  Isn’t that unprofessional?  Isn’t this company alleged to be “prestigious”?  I’m confused…what’s a “prestigious” company doing tolerating that kind of behavior?  Could it be that the persons running the show are just as shallow?  Is it they lack the testicular capacity to address and disarm the hostility displayed by the people they have working for them or…they don’t give a rat’s ass.  (Hence, rats fleeing a sinking ship…I talk about this in another posting.)   My guess is, the latter, they just don’t care.  If they cared, they would have put a stop to what was happening and they would have addressed the behavior head on.  Instead, after she stood up for herself and brought the issues out in the open, the culprits were given a “talking to” and then later received raises and “promotions”.  On High bought the souls of the majority and basically told my friend, you’re on your own, hell, she even got written up.  And now, she’s outta there…and I feel for her, but, she’s going to be alright.  My advice to her would be to wipe her feet of the shit in that place and move ahead, do not look back.  Like myself and others I’ve talked to, leaving that place is akin to leaving an abusive relationship.  She’ll be fine, in fact…if she’s strong enough to keep bitterness at bay, she’ll be a stronger, better person for the experience.  As for those slithering around in the snake pit of their own making, I will now, revisit my statement from early on in this ranting.  I suggested that the bullies who’d taken such pleasure in making my friend feel like a leper were “escaping accountability”.  I don’t really believe that statement.  What I do believe in is this….we all pay, every last, solitary one of us will pay a debt for pain we cause another.  To the children….I mean people who run that department like it’s fucking high school and they’re in the “cool click”, you hurt her, whether you feel justified or not, you hurt her.  Whether you think she deserved it or not, you hurt her….you know who you are and you know what you did.  No matter how tightly you cap off that bottle of guilt inside you…sooner or later the top’s gonna pop off and you will answer for your sins.  We all do…all I pray is that when yours comes, you’ll have the wherewithal to know why.  Karma presents us an opportunity to look within and realize our mistakes.  Don’t waste the chance to be better, to grow.  As for the folks running the show…don’t dare for a moment think you are above any of us…you’ve got money, you’ve got position and you’ve got power but, your shit reeks just as bad as the next guy and you’ll be held accountable as well.  For all y’all, think on the following….

 

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” – Maya Angelou

 

 

Girl, you can be angry….for a time, but don’t be bitter.  Sooner or later you’ll feel clean of the malice that infests that place, you are the better for being away from there.

In the face of ugly attitudes,

You retained a sense of grace.

You maintained your goodness,

even when evil showed it’s face.

 

While others around you fell,

And gave in to the pressures of peers.

You never sacrificed your standards,

Although you were met with jeers.  

 

My friend, even I succumbed.

And treated you poorly, I admit.

It was easy to fall into the group’s vision,

In with the group I wanted to fit.

 

Until I took a moment to search,

in my soul for answers to what was right.

Only then did I realize my errors,

Only then did I see the light.

 

I’m so sorry for what I did to you,

I am deeply ashamed and chagrined.

I let myself be weakened,

by my desires to fit in.

 

I’ve learned a valuable lesson,

Always, I will listen to my still small voice.

Even if the majority shows it’s evil side,

To do what’s right will be my choice.

 

Stay strong my friend, I know it’s difficult.

Find the lessons this situatation is trying to teach.

Keep your chin up and your mind focused.

And know that your joy is well within reach.

this one is inspired by another blogger….

Cubicle Décor

 

“What is that racket?!”  You peek around your cubicle and notice you are not the only one being disturbed by what sounds like…hammering?  You and your neighboring coworkers step out into the cubicle hallway and make your way 5 cubes down and three to the left.  You can’t believe what you come upon.  George, the new guy of about 3 weeks has brought in two framed paintings.  He is trying, fruitlessly, to hammer nails into his cubicle so as to hang these paintings, which, by the way are both approximately 15X20 inches in diameter and a good 10lbs each.  Good God…you try to dissuade George, explaining that there’s no way the cubicle wall is going to withstand the weight of those paintings.  George, however, is a man obsessed and there’s nothing that can be said to stop him, short of a natural disaster.  As you walk back to your respective cube, your eyes glance at the décor of the workspaces around you.  Some folks have chosen to leave their cubicles bare of any personal touches.  Some have brought in so many pictures and plants, you wonder if they perhaps entertain friends for tea in their little home away from home.  Some have even set up their computer wall paper with pictures of friends and family.  You have decided to go simple, one plant, a cute coffee mug and picture of your dog.  This is homey enough and easily packed should On High decide you are no longer an asset to the cubicle community.  Why such different styles of décor?  Well, for some it’s a way to try and fool people into seeing them as more than the job they do or the title they hold, or the way they may behave on the job.  For example, the ring leader for the Bully Clique, she has framed passages of biblical verse throughout her little box.  Who is she trying to con?  This is the same employee who insults the Lone Decent Person behind her back and invites everyone but her to lunch.  Yet, when you look in her cube, the hope she carries is you’ll see her for more than the jerk she portrays.  The Lone Decent Person just has pictures of her children up…her reasons are much more honorable.  When the shit hits the fan and the Bully Clique is at its meanest, she focuses on those pictures and remembers that she has a family to support, so she has to be strong.  Then there’s that guy over in cube 7 with clippings of Dilbert and Far Side cartoons all over his cubicle.  His underlying message is that while he’ll do his job, he will always retain a sarcastic disdain for the On High Regime.  This is his way of saying “in your face!” without being directly disrespectful.  Then there’s the girl in cubicle number 3.  Is that incense you smell wafting from her area?  When you go by, you see pictures of ying yang as well as images of Gandhi, Buddha, proverbs by Socrates and Gary Zucov, etc.  You also hear music combined with the sounds of nature, recorded in the deserts of aboriginal Australia.  Of all of you, this girl can’t be affected by On High or the evil residents of the cubicle community.  Honestly, whenever you get within a foot of her workspace, it’s as though you are surrounded by Love….she blesses her area once a week and nothing negative can get through.  Plus, you suspect the incense is a cover for the pot you once thought you smelled when you walked by.  Hmmm, no wonder she’s always smiling and makes so many trips to the vending machine.  Then, there’s the office manager.  Rather than pictures, she has hung certificates that extol her accomplishments over the years.  One year she was employee of the month and was able to park a mile closer to the building than all the other employees!  Another year she received thanks from On High for her dedicated clean up of the kitchen refrigerator.  She has on one side a small book shelf with books about leadership and success…wait…isn’t that little book in the corner, Hitler’s book entitled Mein Kampf?  You shudder as you pass her area, muttering the Lord’s Prayer under your breath.  As you reach your little hole in the wall you imagine what an aerial view of your company’s cubes would look like.  And you realize that, for as much as On High would like to decimate the individuality of it’s employees, the incessant need for some to decorate their areas is proof enough to you that total obliteration of unique self expression will never truly succeed. 

 

(yup, it’s another one…this one is a chapter from a book i am working on)

 

She walks over to her cubicle and prepares herself for another day of work. Yet, it’s not the work she’s psyching up for. She is breathing deep and steeling herself for the day’s onslaught of cruelty dished out by her “co-workers”. You see, this employee is the newest one on the block and, she has shown On High that she is not pussy whipped. She is known as The Lone Decent Person. She has expressed herself when she has felt mistreated and On High is not appreciating it. She has made enemies of the people she works with because she is, well…she’s different. She doesn’t quite fit the mold and this is unacceptable. So, her co-workers ostracize her, they talk behind her back and, they’ve convinced the powers that be that she’s a bad seed, an employee that does nothing to contribute to the growth and success of the Company. Her co-workers are jealous of her strength of character and rather than seeking to learn from her, they’d rather belittle her, ostracize her and generally make her feel like a piece of road kill left on the side of a rarely traveled road. Lunches have come and gone while she’s been left at her desk knowing they’ve all gone out and she’s not so much as asked what she’d like. They come back from their outings and make loud comments about how wonderful their meal was, mmmmm, how it hit the spot. The obvious disdain is rather pathetic and childish, but, they really don’t care…they feel they’re in the right somehow. Our Lone Decent Person wavers between hurt anger and false bravado. Luckily, she has people who care for her and support her in being a better person than the snakes she’s been unfortunate enough to be “teamed” up with. Her discomfort, however, is very hard to get over although she tries valiantly to put on a smile and comment how “peachy” she’s doing. The fact is she has become the unwilling participant in an age old “game”. The game consists of the weak minded and miserable sucking in all those around them to join in on an attack against anyone who displays confidence and joy apart from that which On High has allowed. Misery loves company and since she has decided she wants no part in the misery, well…she is an insect that must be exterminated…and the extermination is slow and cruel. The Lone Decent Person must be destroyed. To the outside person looking in, the truth is painfully obvious. The bullies are sad little children, victims of their own self inflicted suffering. They haven’t the wherewithal to look within, so they gather other pathetic souls together and they form a bond. This bond lends them an artificial sense of self righteousness that they then lord over anyone who, whether consciously or subconsciously, has decided they don’t want to participate in their collective pity party. The bullies have formed a Clique. Within this clique they are able to support each other in keeping the anger and negativity alive. You see, to continue being mean to another human being, they must stay focused on the reasons why she’s so deserving of their callous behaviors. When a member of the Clique begins to have second thoughts, the others quickly rally around him or her and begin to bad mouth the victim. Hence, they bring the faltering member of their “elite” group back on board…ahh; all is well again in their sad little worlds. On High looks at this as an investment of sorts. When the Powers That Be send one of their own to walk amongst the little people, what he or she has planned is to pretend to listen when the Lone Decent Person stands up for herself. Oh, the Eminent One will put on a sympathetic smile, he or she will nod the head at the appropriate time and, apologies will spill forth, along with promises that the abuse will be stopped. And, for a short while, the abuse does stop, while employee after employee goes in to speak to the Royal Member. The Lone Decent Person begins to feel that maybe, just maybe, things will change. Little does she know, what is really happening behind that closed door is a conspiracy. The Eminent One has made the decision to side with the Clique…the reason behind the decision is the concept that keeping the majority happy is more important than the preservation of one little inconsequential employee. The Lone Decent Person will not know that the Royal Member had anything bad to say about her because the Clique is instructed to keep the conspiracy very top secret. What the Clique doesn’t realize is that On High considers each one of them to be fools and easily manipulated. The proof is how they can manipulate themselves and each other to consciously treat another human being so badly. How easy would it be for the Powers that Be to control them? Offer them a new title, more money, and they will sell their souls. And the Lone Decent Person? Well, in the end she will quit her job. This decision will turn out to be the best decision she could have made. What will happen to the Clique when the victim is no longer there to abuse? Inevitably, they will turn on each other.

Profile of a Bully

Bullies tend to be insecure people with poor or non-existent social skills and little empathy. They turn this insecurity outwards, finding satisfaction in their ability to attack and diminish the capable people around them.

A workplace bully subjects the target to unjustified criticism and trivial fault-finding. In addition, he or she humiliates the target, especially in front of others, and ignores, overrules, isolates and excludes the target.

If the bully is the target’s superior, he or she may: set the target up for failure by setting unrealistic goals or deadlines, or denying necessary information and resources; either overload the target with work or take all work away (sometimes replacing proper work with demeaning jobs); or increase responsibility while removing authority.

Regardless of specific tactics, the intimidation is driven by the bully’s need to control others.

would  you, if you fit this profile have the decency, feel any sense of urgency to correct this about yourself?  Quite honestly, if you do fit this profile, you should be ashamed of yourself, how dare you?  And, what’s more, how pathetic are you?  You know who you are.

 

“The world is too dangerous to live in, not because of the people who do evil, but because of the people who sit and let it happen.”  Albert Einstein

What if you knew of something that was being done, something wrong, mean and spiteful?  Would you try to do something about it?  What if you had taken part in it?  Would you be able to look in your mirror and have the strength to see the ugly and change it?  What if you knew that someone was being mistreated in some way, bullied and judged?  What if the culprits doing this deed were people you once considered your friends?  Would you remain friends with them?  Would you try to get them to see things differently, maybe not be so judgmental of this person?  All of these questions I’ve asked of myself and all of them I am answering by my own day to day internal struggles and by happenings I’ve seen or heard around me.  I’m so disappointed because I was present when a person I’ve come to call my friend fell victim to such immature and harsh treatment and by people I thought I wanted as friends.  I myself participated at first.  I, however, (and thank God) saw the error of my ways.  This person hadn’t done anything to me.  She’s different, that’s all.  She didn’t get things the way we thought she would.  Didn’t mean she was stupid, just learned a different way.  Is this reason enough to ostracize her?  Good God…really?  So she may have put her foot in her mouth and complained about something that really wasn’t a big deal.  She faced up to it.  Are these other women willing to face up to their mistakes?  Hmmm, damn good question, if I do say so myself.  I’ve since apologized to this person for my part in this absolutely ridiculous behavior.  She had every right to say to me, Fuck off, but she had the grace to forgive me.  Now, I’ve left the environment she unfortunately has to stay in for a bit longer.  And, I understand that the shit is still going on.  I thought this kind of thing was something people outgrew?  The people doing the ostracizing were, I thought, compassionate women.  I’m finding out that they are weak enough to put aside compassion in favor of being a bully and being downright mean.  Yes, it is harder to pull your head out of your ass and face that you are wrong.  I know, I’ve done it…and, I’ll probably do it again.  However, my quest is that I reach a point where I don’t automatically fall in with the crowd and treat some poor individual like a fucking leper just because she doesn’t do things the way everyone else does.  Yes, I know, those who live in glass houses should not throw stones…so, I’ve decided to step out of this glass house and be willing to face up to my errors.  I was a mean little biatch…but, I don’t want to remain as such.  Oh, and another question I’d like to ask…What Would Jesus Do?  Would He act the way you, oh holier than thou, call yourself a Christian then turn around and talk shit behind people’s back hypocrite?  I don’t think so.  I don’t think the words, “I’m having a enter name here moment” or “She’s so dense” would have ever crossed His lips.  You probably should take a moment and really read your holy book…oh, and by the way…I lied.  That piece I wrote, yes, that was about you.  I’m sure one of your cronies has already let you know.  What I want to know is, why get so upset when someone points out something ugly unless you really do see yourself.  Quit getting upset and do something about it.  I once felt bad, even wrote another piece about my guilt, but you know what…my sympathy is gone.  That you should have the gall to have your feelings hurt when you yourself cause pain to another by your judgments and bad mouthing?  Interesting….   

I really did like these women…I know it’s in them to be better…I think that’s why this pisses me off so bad.  What the fuck did this girl do to deserve their fucking wrath?  I’m livid…I was wrong when I ostracized the older lady we had working there a while back…for as much as she angered me, I should have been better.  And, now, to see it happen all over again with another person?  And I realize something…when I’m at my most insecure, when I feel my most inferior, this is when I behave like a biatch….I wonder if this is the case for these women?  I wonder if it’s the case just in general…a bully acts based on his lack of esteem for himself…this way he thinks he has power, at least over someone else.  In a sense, one can almost feel sorry for him.  Until he faces himself, he’ll never be happy. 

And for anyone thinking I’m being self righteous and on my high horse….well, all I know is, I tried, I really tried to convince and work these people around to treating her better.  They weren’t strong enough and have continued to be mean to her, leave her out of things…well; they say you should surround yourself with those you most admire, those whose qualities you want in yourself.  Thank God I got out of there when I did.  And girlfriend, don’t worry; you can have lunch with us….       

Today the vice-president of the company came by and said, “What would you like for lunch today?  I know it’s end of month for you and you’re really stressed.  Rather than worry about taking time out to grab a bite to eat, why don’t I bring it to you.”  I was in awe.  Later, while looking over one of my jobs, my supervisor and he were discussing the new bonuses that he plans to give out in May of next year.  He said, “I’m really excited to do that for you guys, now that it’s possible.  I mean, what’s the point of working hard if the only reward you get is a paycheck?”  Again, I was in awe.  Thank you God…I think this is the way my ex employer used to treat the people working for him.  I’m getting in at the ground level with this new company.  I pray that what happened where I used to work doesn’t occur here, but, at least I’ve had the experience so I’ll know what to watch out for.  Wow, that’s what people quitting bad habits or getting out of abusive relationships say.     

i’ll get over it….folks, i appreciate your tolerance as i vent and heal….it’s just that there are people i care about still over there, still in the trenches of that godforsaken place…until they get out, i continue to feel appalled and angry over the incredibly bad way On High has treated it’s people.  there will come a time, i promise, when i’ll write about other topics….

i read over my stuff…all of it and one of the thoughts i have is, wow…i’m not at a loss for opinions…feel free to express yours…i respect them….

I have a question…if you are a company wanting to go public, is it important that you be in compliance with federal government standards on all of your documents?  Hmmm….where’s my Cobra letter?

When losing your employees faster than you can hire them is becoming an issue…does it help the morale of those remaining by demoting their titles?

When choosing a title for a particular job, is it important that you take the advice of those who KNOW and choose a title that actually fits the job description?  Or are you so incapable of controlling your ego that you fire the person advising you and name the job whatever the hell you want because for all your education you are still an insecure little person laden with so much Napolean complex attributes it’s a wonder you can raise your head off the pillow each morning?

When sending out company wide memos that are meant to appease unhappy employees by using politically correct statements that actually cover up what is really happening….is it important to use spell check?  It’s that cool little tool Word offers you before you send something out that can potentially make you look like an illiterate.

When put in a position of authority, is it really necessary to behave in a berating manner with your employees?  What does this say about you?  What business curriculum taught you that being a bully and degrading your people is the best way to draw out of them respect and the desire to do good work?  Was it called, “Little Man’s Syndrome 101″?

Anything you’d like to add?  Feel free….send me a comment and get your thoughts out there.