moe-tif

yes…indeed, indeed, indeed…i’m gonna do something every fiber of my being wants to run away from…who knows the outcome, trying really hard to keep my open mind open, my spirit strong and on the course it’s been traveling…but, i’m scared…my feelings are doing what they will, my emotions know nothing about control…i feel what i feel, i play no games and now, i’m about to step even further into a place that again, i want nothing to do with…i’m doing this for someone i care a lot about…maybe she’s right, maybe this will be good for me…

FUCK…

so, tonite i will drink…i will look deep into my glass and i will delve into a world of bubbles, ice, and spirits (a different kind than the world i usually speak on)…no, this isn’t a brave thing i’m doing, i’m not proud of it…but, this place i’m going to…i may see things that potentially are going to put this heart thru a ringer…i’ve been warned so, i will take this warning and focus on my drink…not just any drink, an alcoholic drink, a really potent, yummy, potent…sweet, alcoholic, really really potent drink…

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK…

my friend has these tickets to a wine tasting…at the last minute, her date plans fall through, so, she calls me and asks if i’d like to go…i hem and haw that it’s too last minute, blah, blah….but, because i’m not having such a great time with the folks and because her kids are old enough to watch mine for a bit, i decide, ok, let’s go.  i get to her house, we quickly make ourselves cute and we take off for this event…i’m nervous, i’ve never been to something like this…i’m second guessing my clothes, my hair (i’d just cut my bangs that morning…a bit too short but, it is what it is…), anyway, i’m always hard on myself and so things like this are tough on me due to my lack of confidence (i’m workin on it), basically, i just want to fit in…after trying a few wines, i’m feeling more at ease…my friend and i are talking to a gentleman who owns his own vineyard and is displaying his wines, which, by the way, are excellent.  as we’re talking, i’m distracted by what looks like a white thread on his collar…it becomes too much for me to resist so, i reach to pull it off…but, to my horror, this is not a white thread…it’s attached to his skin and there’s not a damn thing i can do to distract from what i’ve just done…since i pulled on it, it caused a slight stinging sensation which in turn caused his face to turn red, not unlike that red zin we tasted earlier on…he proceeds to pull it out of his neck, which really doesn’t do much for my absolute embarrassment…and my friend, she’s about to turn purple holding her laughter in…gawwwwwwwwd!  i don’t even know this guy…what possessed me to do something so familiar as to reach over to pull this lone strand of hair?  eesh…when we left the place, i joined in my friend’s laughter because, quite frankly, what else can i do?  again….GAWWWWWWWWWWWD!